|Me:||I also want to go to the pumpkin patch.|
|Sister:||I'll take you to the free one... Well it's not free, it's for donations, so that equals 700 pumpkins for $5.00|
|Me:||. . .|
I’m cheating on your mother with this cupcake.
|Friends' relative:||Why are you wearing that? Skulls are so depressing.|
|Friend:||You're depressing, shut up.|
I sleep with reckless abandon.
Moms’ got enough dollar bills in the bottom of her purse to put a stripper to shame.
|S:||I like your boots.|
|G:||I like your boobs.|
What’s with all the fucking grapes?
|Me:||Can I have this for my birthday?|
|Sister:||No. Your turning 18. I'm taking you to a strip club.|
|Me:||*screams back as she walks away* But I don't want to go to a strip club, I want a music box!|
My gaming skills ended with Mario Brothers and Nintendo 64 Diddy Kong Racing.