omfg i just ordered pizza and as i was about to hang up i said love you out of habit and the guy said it back and after a whole minute of dead silence he just tells me that he hopes that i’m not expecting a discount on the pizza just cause we confessed our undying love for each other! oMFG!
guys! he sent me a note on one of the napkins and i just
I ship it
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Links for bored people. You’re welcome.
THANK YOU INTERNET
but this is seriously the coolest collection of webpages ever
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(via mylife-as-i-knowit)
| Me: | I also want to go to the pumpkin patch. |
|---|---|
| Sister: | I'll take you to the free one... Well it's not free, it's for donations, so that equals 700 pumpkins for $5.00 |
| Me: | . . . |
I’m cheating on your mother with this cupcake.
| Friends' relative: | Why are you wearing that? Skulls are so depressing. |
|---|---|
| Friend: | You're depressing, shut up. |
I sleep with reckless abandon.
Moms’ got enough dollar bills in the bottom of her purse to put a stripper to shame.
| S: | I like your boots. |
|---|---|
| G: | I like your boobs. |
What’s with all the fucking grapes?
